On being … the true reward
By Ingrid Sapona
About a year ago a fellow in my building (I’ll call him
Roger) came to my door to canvass for someone who was running in a local
election. Shortly after that, I started running into Roger and his wife (I’ll
call her Sarah) in the gym. One day, when no one else was around, Roger
confided that he hopes to run for Parliament in the 2015 election, but first he
must run for his party’s nomination.
Roger’s not a particularly outgoing type and he certainly
doesn’t come across like a glad-handing politician. After chatting a bit more, though
I’ve never supported a candidate or even joined a political party, I agreed to
support Roger. Though he’s got many good ideas and earnestly believes he can make
a difference, my main reason for signing on to his campaign is because I admire
his willingness to put himself out there. I figure if there’s something I can
do to help him try to realize such a significant personal goal, why not try?
A few weeks ago I ran into Sarah alone in the gym – it was
the first time we had to chat one-on-one. I asked her if Roger’s always had
political aspirations, or whether this is something she didn’t realize she had
signed on to when she married him. She laughed and said she always knew he was
interested in politics. I told her I admired her patience, as she sits through every
meeting, hearing the same things again and again, and how she pleasantly greets
each person. She said she enjoys accompanying Roger because they’ve met so many
interesting people.
When I told her I admire Roger’s willingness to run and face
rejection, she said that Roger has learned that you can’t take it personally. I
said I think that’s easier said than done. She said that when Roger first seriously
started thinking about running, they discussed it and came to the conclusion that
it’d be a win-win. I’m sure I had a puzzled look on my face, so she continued, “You
know, sometimes I don’t know what to wish for. If we win, we go to Ottawa and
that would be really exciting. If we lose, well, we’ve met a bunch of really
terrific people along the way and we’ve had fun!”
I told Sarah’s rationale to a few friends and each time I
did, I prefaced it with, “I think this is going to be part of an On being …, I
just haven’t quite figured out how it relates to my life.” Well, something I
heard last night on the finale of Master Chef Canada reminded me of what Sarah
said and helped me understand why it’s been tumbling around in my head for
weeks now.
This is the first season of Master Chef Canada. I caught a
couple of episodes early on, but I had a hard time understanding why people
would put themselves through that. I know the winner gets $100,000, but the
pressure of cooking on camera and having to smile as someone critiques your dish
and then having to say “thank you chef” – no matter what they said about your
food – seems crazy to me. Though I liked some contestants better than others, I
always felt bad for the person who was booted off.
About a month ago I was in the gym when a commercial for the
show came on. A woman on the stationary bike asked if I’d seen the show. When I
said yes, she proudly said, “I’m on it!” I did a double take and managed to figure
out her name was Marida. (That’s her real name, by the way.) Since the series
was still on, I knew she couldn’t reveal who won, but I asked her about the
experience.
She said it was very intense, but she loved it. When I asked
if the contestants were at least well paid for being on the show, I was shocked
to hear it was winner-take-all and none of them – other than the winner – received
anything for being on. I told her that I like cooking, but I couldn’t imagine
being judged by the chefs and the other contestants, or being subjected to
comments on social media. Marida acknowledged that sometimes it was hard to
take, but she learned a lot and she was very glad she did it.
Well, it turns out Marida made it into the finals. She was
up against Eric (that’s his real name too) a 21-year-old Chinese-Canadian who
quit his job as an engineer to be on the show. He was the youngest contestant
and he often said he wanted to do well to prove to his family that he’s a
talented enough cook to open a restaurant. At the start of the finale, as a
surprise to the contestants, their families were brought out. After Eric’s father
admitted to one of the chefs that he was proud of his son, Eric said, “I feel
like I’ve won already”. (In the end it was very close and Eric ended up being
named Canada’s Master Chef.)
Though it may seem odd to compare running for office to being
on Master Chef Canada, the similarities became crystal clear to me the moment I
heard Eric’s response to his father’s praise. The most obvious thing they have
in common is that they’re both winner-take-all. They also involve high potential
for rejection, which explains why they make me uncomfortable. But what Sarah’s win-win
comment – and Eric’s comment after receiving his father’s praise – made me
realize is that I often focus on the risk of rejection and failure, rather than
on the true rewards, which are all the things you learn and the people you meet
on the journey.
© 2014 Ingrid Sapona
posted by Ingrid Sapona at 5:00 AM
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