5/15/2012
By Ingrid Sapona
I am not “cool”. I have never been “cool”. Beyond knowing
where I stand on the “cool” spectrum (or maybe I should say, knowing that I’m
not even on the “cool” spectrum), I never really gave much thought to the
concept. Honest.
Recently, however, I’ve had some interesting insights into
how “being cool” – or being perceived as “being cool” – motivates some people. Last
week, for example, I took a one-night course and I think it’s safe to say that
everyone but me (and maybe one other woman who was there with her husband) was
there because they thought what we were learning would boost their “coolness”
factor. My motivation, on the other hand, was utilitarian. The course was a three
hour introduction to motorcycling workshop.
The past few years I’ve been thinking that with the price of
gas always going up, and parking always being difficult in the city, a
Vespa-type scooter seems like a great way to get around town. But, never having
mastered a standard transmission, I had serious doubts about being able to
handle a scooter. When I saw a half-price coupon for this course and I found
out you didn’t need any experience and they provided all the equipment, I signed
up. I figured the class would be a relatively low-risk chance to see whether I
could even entertain the idea of a scooter.
The class was terrifying but fun. The instruction was
terrific, so even someone green like me managed just fine. Besides learning how
to maneuver a small motorcycle in a parking lot, I left the course rich with insight
into “cool”.
The main instructor was a cute, 30-something guy who learned
to ride a motorbike when he was about 10. Regardless of what he was explaining,
he absolutely beamed with enthusiasm for the sport. But, it was clear it wasn’t
just the fun of the activity that appealed to him – it was some intrinsic “coolness”
factor that he attributed to pretty much every facet of biking. Throughout the
evening he explained nearly everything in terms of mastering the art of “looking
cool”.
For example, in explaining how to back-up a motorcycle, he
said there are two ways: one that “looks cool” and one that he called the duck
walk, which he admitted was effective but looks silly. It was clear which technique
he thought we should strive to master. After we had all backed our bikes neatly
next to each other, he offered his utmost praise, saying: “Nice. That line of
bikes “looks cool” – don’t you think?” (I didn’t see that – I just saw a bunch
of bikes lined up.)
That evening, I also noticed that striving to be “cool” is
not strictly a Y chromosome thing. One of the students was a stylish,
20-something woman who sported a fashionable, smartly-cut, forest green leather
jacket, beautiful scarf, and form-fitting jeans. She looked like she walked right
out of a Ralph Lauren Polo ad.
She was quite cute and quite enthusiastic. She quickly
latched on to the Suzuki – the oldest, most beat-up bike there. Later, when she
noticed me watching her take pictures of “Suzi” with her cell phone, she excitedly
said, “This is so “cool”! I’ve just got to send a picture to my mother. I need
the evidence.” I laughed and said that I planned on keeping my attendance at
the course from my mother. To that
she said, “Oh no – this is the year. I’m
getting a bike and a tattoo!” I was
taken aback – she certainly didn’t look the tattoo type. (Who knows, maybe there’s
a Ralph Lauren biker line that I don’t know about.)
The course was in the far corner of a parking lot. I was
vaguely aware that some people nearby were watching, but I didn’t think much of
it. (I was too focused on not stalling-out to care.) About halfway through the
course, however, I noticed someone revving a car engine and then saw the car spinning
around – burning rubber, I think it’s called. After one particularly
spectacular-sounding skid, the car drove away. I don’t know what that was all
about, but I imagine the driver thought he (or she) was “being cool”. (My
thought, which I kept to myself, was that the driver was being an a--h---, but
never mind...)
A friend who owns a motorcycle had gone with me to the
course. On the way home I asked him about the “coolness” factor the instructor kept
referring to. He admitted “being cool” was a motivating factor for him – at least
when he first took up biking. He thought that by riding a bike he’d be seen as “being
cool” and he thought that upped the chances he’d attract women and win the
respect of others who value “cool”. Hmm…
In the course of our discussion, I couldn’t think of anything I find inherently “cool”. My
friend found it hard to believe, so he threw out a number of examples, and I
honestly couldn’t say that any of them did anything for me. Indeed, many things
that, I guess, are widely considered “cool” (like tattoos or the signature roar
of a Harley) – actually turn me off.
The bottom line is there are lots of things that motivate me,
but “being cool” has never been one of them. I guess I’m just immune to “cool”.
© 2012 Ingrid Sapona
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