On being … your signature (fill in the blank)

By Ingrid Sapona 

The other day at the grocery store there was a huge display for Oreos. When I first saw it, I thought it must be for the new snack cake Oreos – Cakesters – that I remembered seeing a commercial for. On second look, however, I saw that it wasn’t for Cakesters, it was for “Selena Gomez Signature Oreos”! 

I found the whole idea of a signature Oreo so strange that I didn’t even stop to see what flavour it might be. (Apparently the center is chocolate and cinnamon.) I get that such products are about branding and marketing, but seeing the display, I couldn’t help wonder how such products actually come about. Do you think the celebrity’s business manager pitches the idea of having their client’s name on a cookie or does the cookie company come to the celeb’s manager and say we’d like to market a flavour in your client’s name? I’m not a huge Selena Gomez fan so I don’t know too much about her. For all I know, maybe she’s often talked about how much she loves Oreos – so maybe it’s totally natural for her to have a signature Oreo flavour. 

The Oreos reminded me of a current Tim Horton’s commercial for “Ryan’s Scrambled Eggs Loaded Breakfast Box”. The Ryan is Ryan Reynolds. The idea of Canadian born Reynolds being featured in a commercial for Tim Horton’s, an iconic Canadian brand, isn’t surprising. But the idea of calling it Ryan’s Breakfast Box (and therefore asking for it when ordering) seems odd to me. I mentioned this to friend and he thought the commercial was in keeping with Reynolds’ sense of humour. In it, Renolds’ personal assistant described the entrée as, “Two freshly cracked eggs expertly scrambled with crispy hash browns, sausage crumble, creamy chipotle sauce cooked over freshly harvested organic lava.” When I heard this, I just thought the “freshly harvested organic lava” part was ridiculous. My friend – more in tune with Reynolds’ comic persona – helped me see that I missed the tongue-in-cheekiness of it. Fair enough… 

Then, of course, there’s Cherry Garcia – the Ben & Jerry’s ice cream flavour that came out in 1987. Interestingly, it seems the flavour-branding idea was suggested to the company by a woman who was a fan of the Grateful Dead and the ice cream company. She suggested it because she thought it would be a hoot for Dead fans who buy all sorts of Dead paraphernalia. Thirty years after the death of Jerry Garcia and his namesake ice cream is still rocking it for Ben & Jerry’s – though I wonder if non-boomers even realize the connection. 

Twenty years later, Ben & Jerry introduced Stephen Colbert’s AmeriCone Dream. Based on what I’ve read, it seems the ice cream maker contacted Colbert’s agent asking whether Colbert would be interested in collaborating on a flavour. (Finally, a definitive answer to the question of whose idea was it!) Since the 2007 launch of the flavour, Colbert has donated all his proceeds from it to The Stephen Colbert AmeriCone Dream Fund, which supports various charities. So, not a purely money-making thing from Colbert’s perspective. 

I don’t know if I’d want a product named after me. Think of the Edsel, for example. The Ford Motor Company named a car – and a division that focused on mid-price range cars – after Henry Ford’s eldest son. Edsels were only around from 1958-1960. Seems the Ford family actually opposed the use of the name, but the company chairman made the decision. What a drag it would be if your (unusual) name ended up becoming synonymous with a flop. 

On the other hand, there’s Veuve Clicquot, which is named for Barbe Nicole Clicquot Ponsardin, who was François Clicquot’s widow (veuve, in French). Madame Clicquot, who was widowed at 27 and took over as the head of the champagne house founded by her father-in-law, revolutionized champagne making. Under the Napoleonic Code, Barbe Nicole Ponsardin was only allowed to run a business because she was widowed. So, to make it clear that she was, she named the company Veuve Clicquot-Ponsardin. Two hundred years later Veuve Clicquot is still synonymous with fine champagne. Who wouldn’t want their name associated with something that beloved. 

Since seeing those signature Oreos, I’ve been thinking about whether there’s any product I’d like my name associated with. Don’t get me wrong, I am proud to put my name on my columns and other things I’ve authored, but that’s because it’s my work. As for products, however, I can’t really think of any that I’d get a kick out of seeing my name on. (Though if I thought it would be a marketing hit and the proceeds could go to charity, well, you could probably twist my arm.)   

What about you? Any items you’d endorse or would be happy to sign your name to? 

© 2025 Ingrid Sapona

On being ... a direction follower

By Ingrid Sapona 

Do you use Google Maps? Or maybe Waze? Or Apple Maps? If you do, how do you feel about it? I use Google Maps, but I’ve got kind of a love/hate relationship with it. 

Until about 18 months ago I rarely used a navigation app. One reason is that once, while using Waze, my phone started to heat up. I tried to exit the app but was unable to. Then I tried to turn the phone off, but I couldn’t do that either. I was pretty far out of the city and there were no cell stores to be found. Eventually I came upon a Staples store and I stopped to get help. 

I walked in feeling quite stupid but I asked the (as my father would have referred to him) young fellow if he could help because I was concerned my phone was getting quite warm. The first thing he did was try to turn the phone off. When he couldn’t do so, he suddenly seemed more sympathetic to my situation. He reconned the phone was overheated. (Gosh, is that why it was getting warm?) Then he went on-line to look for a solution. To my surprise, he suggested putting it in a frig for a few minutes to cool it down. Thankfully there was one in the staff lunch room. Cooling it that way worked and we were able to turn the phone off. But, I never used Waze again. 

So, for a long time, if I was going somewhere I had never been before, I preferred mapping things out on-line and printing the directions. Old school, I know, but it worked. Post-Covid, however, traffic has gotten so bad here in Toronto that most people I know rarely head anywhere without checking a navigation app. For me, Google Maps has become an indispensable planning tool because it estimates the travel time. Though it’s still annoying that a trip that used to take 25 minutes now takes way longer, if I check Google Maps before I leave, odds are better that I’ll leave myself enough time to get there. On the other hand, the app’s dynamic adjustments to traffic conditions can also add to my frustration. Nothing more irritating than being 15 minutes into a trip that Google initially estimated would take 1 hour and 10 minutes and en route it recalculates and tells me the destination is now 1 hour and 15 minutes away. Ugh…   

If I’m going someplace I know how to get to and I’m using Google for ETA information, I typically don’t pay attention to the directions she gives en route. (In case you’re wondering, yes, I’ve got a woman’s voice programmed on the app because I don’t like a man’s voice telling me what to do.) I keep the app on while I’m driving because sometimes, based on the conditions ahead, she suggests a faster alternative. But, unless the new route is lots faster, I usually just continue on the route I’d normally take to that destination. When I ignore her directions, I do feel like a disobedient student and I usually mutter a quiet “sorry”. But the more times she tells me to do a U-turn, the less apologetic I am as I tell her to adjust her routing. 

Not long ago I was going someplace I’ve been to a few times. Google Maps showed a couple different routes and none of them were that familiar to me, so I let her choose. She took me on a delightful route that meandered through some lovely side streets. It was such a nice drive, I made a mental note of the neighborhood, as it would be a lovely place to become more acquainted with. 

Indeed, the serendipity of discovering new streets and parts of town as a result of following Google Maps has happened a few times lately. Every time I’m surprised by such a discovery, I chide myself for not being more open to simply following Google’s suggestions. Besides, though we’ve all heard stories of drivers who blindly follow an app’s directions and then end up in a lake or worse, even if I let her guide me, it’s not like I’d ever stop paying attention to what’s actually up ahead. So, I guess what I’m saying is that I’m finally coming around to the realization that if I’m going to use such technology, I’ll get more enjoyment out of the experience by embracing it, rather than second guessing it. 

What about you? How good at following directions are you? 

© 2025 Ingrid Sapona